I'm Home

I've said my goodbyes. 

I cried.  

I've left Mexico. 

But a piece of my heart had been left in Mexico. 

I realized as I gave my goodbyes that I may never meet see some of these people again on this side of heaven. Which truly cut me to the core, I love those kids! But I know that that it is a part of life. My other goodbyes were no easier. Nikki stayed the night with us Wednesday night and ironically neither of u slept at all that night. After eating Tacos al vapor for breakfast we gathered all our stuff out front. Our bus came by the house at 8:10. I gave the Yoder's final hugs goodbye  and boarded. I put on my sunglasses and left myself cry as I watched my beloved town  get smaller and smaller than then disappear. The three hours to Los Mochis went rather quickly. Once we were dropped off, we hailed a taxi and he stuffed all our suitcases in his trunk. It was so funny though because it didn't all fit in and half of it was hanging out and he had to tie the lid down. After we got to Tufesa bus station it was a 3 hour wait till our bus went out at 2:10. We ate our last meal in Mexico. Hehe TACOS!! ;) I won't lie the bus ride was long and miserable! I was so glad I had Nikki though! It made many stops and they played really lame movies with Spanish overlay of course till 12 although they did play need for speed which wasn't too bad. Once we had to stop at an army check point and get all our luggage out and put it through a scanner. Then a couple hours later we had to do the same thing but this place was bigger so we waited an hour and half for our turn. Then at the border we had to drag all our stuff out again n run it through the scanners. It was weird because the soldiers were talking English to me and I've gotten so used to the Spanish that I kept replying in Spanish even though they were talking in English. The bus was FREEZING! I couldn't sleep cuz I was like shivering the whole time. If you know me well than you know I'm crazy sensitive to cold. I will wear a jacket in 75 degree weather! I had plenty of clothes on just not enough apparently. I dreamed of my fuzzy pj pants and my dad's huge sweatshirt. Nikki and I talked about what It would be like to be in the states again and what stuff would take time to readjust too. After the border we had 3 hours to the Phoenix. I think I finally fell asleep then for a little bit. I am glad I made it through the whole ride without grabbing old guys faces or locking myself in bathroom! :p (read about my trip down for that story) We grabbed another taxi from the bus station to the airport and got checked in and our luggage checked without a problem. Nikki and I had breakfast together before we said our goodbyes. She's a gem! :) oh n guess what I had for breakfast!!! TACOS, casadias n Mexican coke!!!! hehe ;) I may have gotten addicted to Mexico's food. Just a tad. I spent the next 3 hours facetiming my family and texting my friend trying to stay awake.  This was my first time flying solo. But I've flown enough that it wasn't to hard plus it was a direct flight. Southwest is open seating and I was one of the first ones on and got a window seat. I  kept saying in my head please no creepy older guy, no creepy older guy. What did I get? Yeah an interesting older guy sitting beside me. Ugh. 

So it's a little an hour till we land. It's finally sunk in! I GET TO SEE MY FAMILY IN AN HOUR!!!! EEEEEKKKKKKK If I wasn't on a plane I would squeal!!! I've been told there will be a race to give me a hug first! I can't believe I haven't been home in 3 months and haven't been around for 5 months! This last hour is gonna drag!! Hurry up plane!! 

I just saw the coolest thing!! I looked out my window and off in the distance was another plane gliding across the top of the clouds! It was so swift n smooth it about mesmerized  me. 

We are descending!!!! I'm almost home!! I don't care about home. I get to see my fam soon is all I care about!!! 

We are descending through the clouds! Is this what is look like to be in cotton candy?

It's actually a bit freaky. White is all I can see.
We landed and I could not get out of the plane soon enough. I made my way to the baggage claim waiting anxiously for my family to arrive. I was as giddy as could be!! FINALLY I saw Amanda come running at me and my heart soared I couldn't get to her soon enough! *BEAR HUG* Father videod the whole thing and mom cried! I think I was missed. I couldn't stop hugging them. we had an hour home then. it was so weird and surreal to be home. I walked into the garage and saw my car and I was like "My Baby!" and give it a hug and then I realized it was CRAZY clean. I was like who cleaned my car?? Apparently my neighbor wanted to do something for me so he intensely detailed my car! It has never looked this nice!! My dog ran right past before he realized who I was. Dallas and Beth's came over then and my nephew wouldn't let me out of his sight. He was always like I love you Beppy and You're awesome and he wouldn't stop wanting to sit in my lap and be with me. Oh the other side my 1 year old nephew didn't even know who I was. I handed out my gits for everyone and then CRASHED into my bed. Let me tell you after not sleeping for 52 hours my bed felt GOOD! S anyway, I'm home!!! Adventure over!! But definitely not forgotten. I am having some big culture shock and even having trouble adjusting to being under my parents roof after being independent for a while. Thanks to all Y'all that followed along with my story! As for what's next I have some ideas and I am still praying about them and seeing in what direction God leads.
One more CRAZY story. Sunday I was at the park with my youth group to watch the fireworks and my phone starts ringing and it is this random number. I almost didn't answer it but my curiosity got the better of me. When I answered the person started rattling of Spanish and I was like who in the world! I figured it was somebody from Mexico. Turns out it is a girl I befriended 2 years ago in Nicaragua. I gave her my number the day I left and never heard from her again. My Spanish was so bad before I went to Mexico that if she had called me before I wouldn't have understood barely a word but because she called me three days after I got home from Mexico I got to have a half hour long conversation with her and we had a chance to reconnect! God timing is awesome!
Thanks Y'all
Cheerfully Bethany

I Am Not Good With Goodbyes...Oh n BTW It's my Birthday!!!

It can't be here already! Please tell me it's not true! I am completely blown away with how fast it has gone yet in the same sense it feels like I've lived here forever. I can't begin to tell you how much the people here mean to me, but I'm gonna try! 

First off the caregivers. 

Wow. All I have to say is that they inspire me so incredibly much! They go through so much and deal with so much. And they bascically are helpin mold these kids futures. They give up two years of their lives to pour into these children. I have enjoyed getting to know every single one of them! Y'all are the best! I can't say how much I treasure y'all's friendship! God bless you! And y'all will always be in my prayers!! 

The children. 

Ok I may actually cry thinking about leaving them! The older girls have definitely become near and dear friends! And the children! My heart about rips out at the thought that I may likely never see them again this side of heaven. I just want to adopt every last one of them! There is this brother pair that I especially wish I could take home with me! I'm gonna miss their smiles, the hugs, the broken english, and truly just everything! Aww and my mentally handicapped kids! They have become very near and dear to me! There is something so special about their friendships! I love all the children so much! 

The church family

I was technically with the church plant. And even though I kinda felt intimidated by the older Mexicans, because I wasn't fluent in Spanish, they definitely became dear to me. I'm even gonna miss the hugs and cheek kisses from the little old ladies. (I've gotten so used to touching cheeks and air kissing every girl I meet down here whether I knew them or not that I think I might slip up a few times when I get home. Just a warning! :p) there are two new Christians down here, Rigo and Juan Carlos and they came around quite often. They are a blast and it was awesome watching them grow in Christ! I wasn't always able to communicate that well with them but we made it work! (thanks Anthony for translating so much for me!) 

There was also a family in the church that I got to know pretty well and have become dear friends to me! Hermano Martin and Hermana Reina and their children Aile, Lupita, and David! 

Hermana Reina has taken me under her wing although I will admit she has intimidated me a little simply because of the language gap. When she say something, she follows through. You cant  just pretend you understand and get away with it! But in all honesty she is so much fun and oh she is such a matchmaker. Anytime I would go over to her house she would try and tease me about Rigo, one of the new Christians. And she always had plenty of stories to tell! I love her laughs and her hugs! And she also taught me how to make tortillas and she is so incredibly patient! I'm truly gonna miss her! 

My Mexico Family 

The Yoders and Anthony too! I can't even say how much this family means to me!! Loren is such a funny guy but also leads his family and church so well! He is such a tease too! 

Donna, oh I could take about Donna for awhile. I've gone through a lot down here. And she has walked me through so much of it. She was so patient with me and an incredible listener! She is a hard worker, cares for everybody, is always willing to help and her family simply adores her! :) her friendship is vey dear to me! 

Caleb! I got to go to Ebi with Caleb so I knew him a little before which truly helped so much with coming down here! Caleb is awesome! He is really smart and really talented in sports and music. He is a great example and role model for his brothers. And he sings all the time. Which was cool! :) omw and he is like a Professional shopper! He knows all the deals in Choix and helps save his family a lot of money! 

Kedric!! Oh Keddy. Keddy has the best sense of humor! I'm always waiting to hear what whitty thing he is gonna say next! I'd often hear him say "es broma! Es broma!" It's a joke! it's a joke! :) he also has one of the best memories I've ever seen. The guy can quote movies and Odessy like nobody's business! And he is crazy talented and dedicated at playing soccer! 

Kyle! Lol Kyle! Oh that kid! We have had it out a few times but I adore this kid but of course never tell him that. He will get a big head! :) he is one of the biggest people person I have ever seen and always loves being where the action Is! He loves his dogs (cappuccina and charcoal) and his cat Pouchy the 3rd. We banter back and forth like nobody's business about everything and anything. I always win of course! Right Kyle? ;) 

Anthony is the guy church worker down here and he is awesome! He is a crazy talented singer and guitarist! He made a music video with the kids from the orphanage! I can't wait till they upload it to youtube so I can show y'all! It was inspiring watching him serve The Lord down here. He has poured hours into the church and the new believers! Thanks for all you do Anthony!  

I'm gonna miss so much stuff when I go home. I truly believe I'm gonna suffer culter shock! 

I'm gonna miss. 

-Good Soda

-Real torillas

-Mexican tacos!!!

-Mexican food in general

-The warmth and friendliness of the people of Mexico

-Speaking Spanish

-the little stores

-The tight knit community established here 

-Having friends nearby and having different people around me all the time! (At home I live an hour from most of my friends and church family. :/ Thats gonna be one of the hardest things going home. Because here everybody is like at the very most 15 min away! How I've treasured that.)

-The mountains surrounding Choix! 

-The heat (come winter I'm gonna be wishing I stayed in Mexico!)

-the roof! Especially at night! It's so fun being up here! I love the stars! I'm up on the roof right now! I wanted to spent my last hour of being a teenager at my favorite spot at our house! 

Speaking of my bday! Wow I'm soon gonna no longer be a teenager! That's huge! My childhood is forever over! Time to face the real world. But with God's strength I think I'm ready! 

I spent my last day as a teenager with my Mexico family and I made cookies and in the afternoon we handed out little christian magazines in Choix for two or so hours.

 the we had a birthday supper for me! Shrimp fettuccini and apple crisp and oh! We even turned the AC on! It was so much fun and we finished the night off with vball out back! I'm so incredibly blessed! 

And here it is! 12:00 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!! ;) Gracias Padre por todos! 

Beginning of the End

I have 2 1/2 weeks left down here. I just wanna cry! You have no idea how badly I am gonna miss these people and just Choix and Mexico in general! My heart just aches at the thought of leaving but then my heart yearns for home and to see family and friends and church again and start the next stage of my life. I just realized I have less than 2 weeks of being a teenager left. That's truly huge for me because it kinda like ok Beth you are not a kid anymore. You really need to start growing up. I can't wait to get home and put to practise the skills I learned down here. I've learned I really enjoy cooking and sewing. And I want to get back into playing guitar and piano. I have the possibility of starting college to look forward to and chae rim coming and LBS. I'm glad I'm not going home to the unknown. I have options in front of me.

The Yoders have been away the last two weeks and just returned today. Don't tell them but I missed them a lot! It's gonna be hard on me to leave them. Anyway so Vaughn had been living with me and Anthony was around a lot as well as the caretakers on their days off. So I wasn't here alone very much. It was a time where I got to know the workers a little better. It was kinda fun just having the house to ourselves. 

I went to El Fuerte today with Diana, one of the caretakers, and I found a ton of cheap fabric! I'm so excited I can't wait to get home and start sewing! The question is how am I gonna have room for it all??? Yikes. El Fuerte is a beautiful historic colorful town! It is about 45 minute bus ride from Choix and it's a nice place to go to just get away for a little bit. 

Tomorrow we have a DNI group coming for about 10 days and 4 of the people were at EBI with me! So I'm really excited to have them around for a bit. 

I just want to mention on average it's about 108 degrees down here lately! That's HOT!!!!!!!!!! 

Stuff is gonna start wrapping up here as much as I want to stop time. Every good thing must come to an end. Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened! :D 

Later y'all 

6 Months Ago My World Collapsed Again...

6 months ago my world collapsed....again... 

I can't get that day out of my mind. It was an beautiful Sunday. Amanda and I were babysitting two children and and the ride home from church had been so fun as we played fun songs, laughed, and enjoyed the ride. I remember thinking what a fun Sunday It was turning out to be and I was so stoked for our ugly sweater Christmas party we were having that night. I had been looking forward to it for weeks! We hadn't been home more than an hour before we got the call that reaked havoc on our lives once again. Dad called and Amanda and I answered with speaker phone and start using silly voices and goofing off. Dad asked me to turn it off speaker phone and Amanda went into the living room with the kids. And then came the words that hit me like déjà vu and that I haven't been able to get out of my head.... Dale died. Two words were all he said. My mind went wheeling and I instantly asked if it was a different dale we knew. And dad replied with the dreaded words that it was his brother Dale. My mind exploded! Dad didn't have any other details so he said they'd be home in 20 min. I slowly set down my phone. And then it hit hard like a somebody hit me in the gut. All I could do was scream and maybe if I drown out those words that I could unhear them and they would no longer be true. NOOOO NOT AGAIN!!!! NOOO THIS AINT HAPPENING ITS A DREAM. Amanda came running out hoping she had misheard my convo with dad. Is it Uncle Dale? She asked shakily. I can't handle the emotions running through me, I could only nod and continue to freak out. Amanda quickly realized the kids were getting scared and that strong little sister of mine told me to go upstairs till I could calm down and that she would take care of them. I couldn't do anything but comply. I ran as hard as I could to my room and broke. Praise The Lord Dalen and Merletta arrived less than 5 min later. I ran downstairs. They had already heard... Merletta came to me immediately and wrapped me in a huge hug and I just bawled. Dalen went to Amanda's side as Amanda was finally letting herself break. After they left, I didn't know how to handle myself. Looking back I wish I could have just been there for Amanda but Instead I ran to my friends. I called my 3 best friends up bawling with the news. I was so scared. The words that were running through my head were NO NOT AGAIN. PLEASE I CANT HANDLE THE PAIN AGAIN. I DONT WANT TO WATCH MY DAD WALK THIS PATH AGAIN. IT WAS HARD ENOUGH LAST TIME. THIS HAS GOT TO BE A CRUEL JOKE OR NIGHTMARE. Mom and Dad arrived then and we just sat together on the couch, held each other and cried and cried. After a bit they decided they must go over to be with the family. I couldn't bring myself to go along. I didn't want to live that nightmare again. All the tears and the sobbing and shock. I called my cousin to find it if she was there yet only to find out that they hadn't heard yet and to also find out that it was my young cousins birthday today.... After talking to Bethany and Dallas, Bethany convinced me to go to be with the family and that I shouldn't be home alone. I remember the 15 min drive, looking back it prob wasn't safe for me to be driving. My legs were like jello. I was so weak. I put on the loudest songs I had and just blared them and took those back roads pretty fast. Everybody arrived at the same time to Uncle Dales house. By then I had been informed that it had happened at Dales oldest son's house. They were all just eating supper with the whole family including grand kids. (Except his daughter and her husband hadn't been able to make it) when he suddenly has an aortic aneurism. He was gone in seconds. The emts tried thier best to bring him back. 

Let me explain a lite bit, Dale's and my family grew up on the farm together for most our lives until a lil less than 5 years ago. So Dallas had grown up beside Dal's sons and Dale was like a second father to him growing up. And the boys were like brothers. 

Like I said we all arrived at Dales around the same time. I pulled in right after Dallas's. I remember my 6 foot 3 brother embracing Justin, Dale's second oldest son who is more built and taller than Dallas, and them both just crying and hugging each other tightly. I will never forget that memory. The rest of the night was spent supporting each other as a family. We were all crying, in shock and just in need of each other. 

It was all to much for me. I had to get out and breath so I ended up grabbing my sister going to the ugly sweater party cuz I needed my friends so bad!! I got there and the girls swarmed me with hugs. They helped me be distracted for a little while before I knew I had to go and join the family. But before I left they placed my sister and I in the middle of the circle and everybody prayed for us. I have never felt as loved by my youth group as I did in that moment. True brethren in Christ. The viewing and funeral went by in a teary blur. I went back to worked the next day after the death. Worst mistake of my life. I ended up after being scolded by both my managers breaking down in sobs of tears because I was already emotionally unstable and having to go home. It was all I could not to quit on the spot.

I had so many people supporting me though. My best friend came the very next day with a HUGE 4 foot teddy bear for me and that meant the world and more to me. I don't think she even realize what that did for me. His name is Gu and he may just be a giant stuffed bear but he symbolizes all the support of so many people. I want to thank everyone for all the support during his time! 

I really had no time to grieve because 3 weeks later I was arriving at Ebi and was flung into the craziness of bible school. One day midterm I was alone in my dorm and looked at the picture of my uncle and everything hit me again but I started feeling the beginning of healing after I took the time to write a farewell letter to my uncle. Asking him how heaven was and what it was like to see Kenton completely healed and To thank him for everything he has done for us and the family and to recall some fun child hood memories I had of him. I ended up in tears and right then my two amazing roommates showed then and thy just hugged me and let me cry. It's so hard walking around with a torn heart but having to smile and act like everything is all right so you don't make other people feel uncomfortable. Especially when your surrounded by 70 people your age who all have their own problems. 

And y'all know my story that I barely had time to breath after Ebi before I was here in Mexico. So I haven't been home much. I haven't seen as much of the pain in my parents and grandparents Dales family's faces. I kinda feel sometimes that I ran away from it. But I know they know I didn't do it purposely. Before January 10th I rarely cried. I couldn't even make myself cry. I just don't deal with death easy. I found out last minute that I was to attend a funeral down here with the church and I didn't have time to prepare myself and ended up breaking down for the first time since Ebi. I can't handle Funerals. I ended up not going and staying home all day to cry, grieve, and heal. I have a few friends that just lost somebody extremely dear to them and watching how they responded has encouraged and helped me so much through this. Last year when my other uncle was killed I was actually dating and he was truly a Godsend at the time. I don't know how I would have made it through without him. Unfortunately our lives did go in different directions and this time I internalized a lot more of the pain but I'm still finding healing slowly. Thanks for everybody's support and love. I'm extremely blessed to have the friends and church I have. Thanks for hearing my heart out. I hope I didn't make you cry to much. I will say that a year that started off so HORRIFIC is turning into an amazing year! And only God can be thanked for that!!! Thanks y'all! Love y'all!!! 

"This is where the healing begins, oh 

This is where the healing starts 

When you come to where you're broken within 

The light meets the dark"

The Low Parts are A Part of Life

 You have your highs and you have your lows. It's all a part of life. So the last couple week or so was a very low time for me. I was sick physically and mentally. I was rather depressed I kind of hit a sort of rock bottom and called out for help. The song healing begins really helped me through it. Things are really starting to look up again and in the dark time I got to courage to call out for help and it's getting better!! I have some very good friends and parents that helped me through it. 

Since finding out my date that I'm coming home. I've been thinking a lot about it. The sad reality that some of these friends that I treasure so much I may never see again and I may soon be forgotten. Sometimes while I'm with them I just try to memorize their faces so I never forget them. I don't do good with the reality that friends come and go. Every friend I make is special to me and I don't do good with goodbyes. My departure date is actually a month earlier than was exspected because of my passport expiring halfway through July and the only people going up to the states leave very beginning of January but Donna is actually getting a WATER girl at the beginning of July so I'm not really as needed as much then. Looking back, my time here is actually relatively short but I'm glad to have been able to help out where I could and I've experienced and learned so much. It's funny how if you put yourself in a different position than normal you start learning stuff about yourself and you start growing and changing. I'm not quite the same girl I was when I came down here. 

1rst time:

waking up with a huge cockroach on me 

Baking a pie

Taking care of a handicap child

Changing a dirty diaper

Going to a Mexican doctor's office 

Making meals daily for people. 

Having little brothers

Going to a children's home 

Playing soccer with Mexican children

Making tortillas

Eating Mexican food

Listening to this much Spanish

Sewing my own skirt

Eating field corn. 

Attending a quinceañera 

Taking care of a house for 2 weeks. 

And others I can't remember at the moment. 

One sad thing that did happen while I was here was a man from the church had a puppy that was sick. So we kept him on our roof to keep him away from other dogs. He became my fast friend. One day he got to close to the edge and fell off and ended up breaking his leg and we thought he was dying from internal damage. I thought they would have to shoot him. I'll admit I cried. But they decided to wait and he ended up pulling through and is doing so well!! *happy dance* he jut went home the other day!! :) 

What happens next???  Well Mexico has taught me a lot! I'm not entirely sure what comes next. Except Lord willing I will start the process of entering collage as soon as I get home. If all ones as planned I want to look into getting a bachelors in English. Which kinda blows my mind because English was not exactly my favorite subject. I admit I'm quite nervous and scared but also excited to be able to work toward getting my bachelors. Hehe I always said I would never go to college. Right now I'm looking into working with college plus, taking clep tests and online classes and maybe some classes at HACC. We shall see. I'm still new with this whole college thing. I'm hoping to take my new love for preparing food and use it even more at home and get really good at it. I'm really learned to enjoy cooking. Especially cooking cultural foods. There are some issues in my life that have come to my attention and I'm hoping to maybe see a counselor for a little bit. I think that could do me some good. I need to find a part time job. I'll probably look into cleaning jobs cuz I heard those are pretty flexible with college life. I've decided to downgrade to a cheap dumb phone that meets my basic needs as college bills are going to start arriving. I've learned down here that shockingly you can live without a smart phone!! :O 

Well the Yoders have left for two weeks vacation so Anthony and I are holding down the fort here. And then at night Vaughn comes and stays here with me so that I'm not by myself. Don't tell them this but I woke up Monday morning and was like *sigh* I miss the Yoders. :) Vaughn and I have taken over the parents room cuz they have AC!!!!! It's such a beautiful thing since the weather has been peaking at 106 lately. I was afraid I'd get bored with all the Yoder's gone but I've found myself rather occupied. Vaughn captured a hilarious picture of me trying to wash my couch cover in the shower. And I'm taking care of all the animals and plants and cleaning. Today I'm taking care of Boni for the last time as his caretakers are getting home from their two month break on Saturday. And yesterday was a interesting day for me. As some of you know I got bloodwork done on Friday and I've been kinda aloof as to why I got it done. Well my mom contacted me last Wednesday saying she had talked with her friend and that her daughter was struggling with some of the same physical issues I've been struggling with. Mom suggested that I may be dealing with under active thyriods. I immediately looked up the symptoms and immediately hope filled my heart. Had we finally, finally figured out what I've been struggling with. When I saw the symptoms my mouth dropped. I dealt with almost every one. I was floored but I dared not hope cuz I was tired of getting tests done and spending my parents money only to find out that there is nothing wrong with me even though I knew something wasn't right. Anyway I found out that it would be quicker cheaper and easier to get my bloodwork done here in Mexico. So Friday we just walked across the street into the lab and he took my blood and I was out 15 min later. I spent the next couple days trying not to obsess or worry about the results. Then on Monday around 6 I went over and got my results but I read them wrong and I thought is said that my levels are normal and it depressed me something awful. How funny is that. I was sad that I'm "ok". But later that night I read my result off to my mom and turns out they are quite low and as soon as I get home I'm gonna go see a doctor about it. I'm so excited!! I truly pray that this helps!!! 

Sunday. Sunday was a good and a hard day for me. I attended a funeral. I was asked to attend a funeral a few weeks ago but it was last minute and I kind of had a break down at the thought of attending a funeral. I really hate funerals. The memories are too fresh. But I was able to get myself to attend this one. A lady in the church lost her sister to, I believe it was a tumor. The funeral was definitely a cultural experience for me. You go and just stand around for a while at the house. Kinda like a viewing and then they have the somebody talk and then we walk to the graveside. We first walk around the house then head to the graveyard. The walk was pretty far and smart me didn't bring water along and it had peaked at 105 that day. I thought I was gonna drop from the heat. When we reached the grave they handed out water bottles but there wasn't near enough for everybody so I didn't get one. A guy must have noticed I wasn't  looking good or something because he came and handed me a bottle. I was never so happy to see water! They sang songs and Loren talked a bit and then they lowered her down and poured cement on top. The bawling and the tears really go to me. But I must say the view was AMAZING!!! 

Well that all for now. Sorry for the randomness. And mixed thoughts. 

Cheerfully Bethany 

Scariest moment of Mexico

I hope I'm not boring y'all with my stories. Being a missionary is really honestly living a normal God driven life in another country. I'm not fighting off lions or wrestling lizards or anything. :)  

I have discovered a new theme for my life and I'm sad it took me this long to realize this. But looking over the last 2 years of my life I realized that my biggest goal was to be comfortable and by doing that I wasted two years of my life! I could have learned so much and grown so much but instead I sat in front of a screen or sat around. I'm truly ashamed about how I've been living my life. I'm learning so much since I came down here and it excites me! I'm learning a new language, learning how to cook n bake better, getting exercise, losing weight (I hope ;), playing instruments again, making new friendships, reading (I'm currently reading a 630 page book :O "joeys story" so far it's really good. Id really recommend it!) and starting to dream about the future again. I still deal with depression a little but it's getting better. I've spent more time thinking about big life questions while I've been here than ever before and trust it's a lot to think about. 

I'm trying to think back over my last little bit and think about what's new or interesting. Well since deciding to get out of my box and stay uncomfortable and adventurous, I've been playing sports with the kids, making new recipes, walking at the track every morning, actually getting the sleep I need, learning to sew,

hanging around people more.

On that last note I've sadly realized what a introvert I have become over the last 2 years and I wanted to sincerely apologize and I'm trying to overcome that. 

I had a sleepover with one of the girls from the children's home. That was a blast! 

On my day off this week I got to go to the historic town of El Fuerte about 45 min away with Diana. We took the bus and it was really fun! We went fabric shopping and I got inspired and sewed a skirt that night! I failed miserably but it's stuff only the seamstress could tell. We visited all the little shoppes and went to this gorgeous hotel

and I took a picture with Zorro who is apparently like the Mexican equivalent to Robin Hood. 

Sunday was Mother's Day and Mother's Day is a huge holiday around here!! I celebrated it with the Yoders. Donna may not be my mom but she has impacted me a lot while I've been down here. She barely knows me but let's me talk to her about stuff and listens to me and is so encouraging and helpful. She is well loved by her family as well and they don't let her forget it which is cute to watch. We had a party out at the San Pedro church for Mother's Day. I really struggle with the church out there because most of the church is older and my Spanish is really poor and for some reason I can blabber on n on in my bad Spanish to the kids and could care less but with the adults I feel like I'm disrespecting them if I don't understand them so I kind of avoid them. I'm really trying to over come this because I don't want to come off snobbish and because I really should be being friendly. They made a truly Mexican meal for us. Field corn on the cob covered in mayo n queso.

It was really good! I'll be honest I missed my mom a lot that day. I told one of the lady's that and she wrapped me in a good long hug. :) 

I did have a huge scare this week though. Yesterday was a very hard day for me. I took care of Boni and while he was taking a nap he had a seizure. You have no idea how bad that scared me. I've never seen a seizure before and I didn't know he had them. I thought he was dying or something! He is doing ok now I think. Boni just keeps stretching and stretching me. Like I've never changed a dirty diaper before I came down here or at least not that I can remember. I know I know. You can shake your head. :) 

As I type I'm hanging out on the roof top stargazing and hanging out with a sick puppy whom I really like and texting my best friend who I really miss (Alicia you really need to come visit me!) The puppy may look a little sick but he is so cute! We are trying to nurse him back to health.

Life in Choix is good and I'm getting more adventurous every day but recently there have been some kidnapping and murders in town so I ask you to keep Choix in your prayers!! I'm not really afraid because I know nothing will happen to me that's outside of God's will or that I won't be able to handle with his strength. And we know that all things work to together for good to them that love God. 

Cheerfully Bethany

-PRAYER REQUESTS 

1. Direction as I plan for the future

2. Choix 

3. A girl at the home that needs healing from a painful past. 

4. My mosquito bites. My legs are bit up something fierce and are only getting worse it seems. 

5. A peace in my heart about some decisions I need to make. 

Midnight Thoughts

It's midnight here but I'm wide awake trying to solve the worlds problems. I'll tell ya about my week then I'll tell you about the world's problems ;) 

Monday and Tuesday I didn't do much other than all day Tuesday I took care of Boni. We had a pretty chill day. I'm not sure if I have really told you much about Boni. Boni had a birthday on Monday so he is 8 years old now. They believe he was born normal but now he is mentally handicapped. We aren't really sure how much he understands. He kind of lives in his own little world. Getting mad at random times and nonstop smiles and laughter at other times. He can stand with the help of something and crawl. He has the longest eyelashes I've ever seen! Gorgeous! He is such a foodie, loves his food. He is a sweet kid. 

Wednesday was a normal clean house make lunch kind of day. Kyle and I ended up playing 22 games of Uno that night along with other games. We had fun making up more rules till the rules started getting crazy. Like each round we would add another number so first game was normal that the second game when u got down to two cards you would have to say dos and the next round tres and so on and so forth. I told him it wasn't fair cuz he is fluent in Spanish! 

Thursday I made fried fish for lunch! Yum! (Although I burnt some... Shhh) and then I made everybody soft pretzels! Which a lot of Mexicans don't know about pretzels! I also introduced then to the movie Cool Runnings. So lots of fun quotes have been flying around. 

"Nuff people say they know they can't believe. Jamaica we have a bobsled team!" 

"Eh wanna kiss my lucky egg?" 

"Ya wanna live there you're gonna have to marry the queen." 

Friday was a blast! It was field day. First let me say sadly I'm not athletic at all. So I took my role of videographer very seriously. They had a series of races down on the track around the soccer field at 7:30 to avoid the heat. And then went back to the Casa Hogar (children's home) and did the high jump and softball throw. It was so much fun getting to know the kids. I knew most of the girls but this time I got to know the boys and learned their names cuz everybody would be yelling the names during the event. I know most of the names now. But sadly I made a mistake I mixed up two of the boys. One is getting adopted and the other is not. And I was asking the wrong kid about "his adoption" and I found out later that it's a really sore subject for him and he wonders If he will ever get adopted. Their is a possibility for somebody to adopt him but he doesn't know yet. Please pray for this situation. He is a wonderful little boy. 

After lunch I worked till bout 7 on going through all the pics and videos and making a video collage to show the kids that night. That was a little stressful but fun as well. It was fun watching the kids watch it that night. 

The kids have become my Spanish teachers. They are so patient and kind with me about it. It has got to be tiring always haven't new people come who don't speak fluent Spanish. 

I'm gonna tell you a little bit about Tao now. Tao is 22 year old guy here who is physically handicapped but if I am not mistaken is completely normal mentally. He inspires me so much! He is always grinning and laughing and cracking jokes. He truly brightens your day. 

Something re-sparked in me Friday. My huge desire to adopt. And it's been just burning in my soul the last two days and I can't get it out of my mind which is why I'm still up and not sleeping.  Questions and thoughts flying through my head like:

Is it God's will for my life to adopt?

Well if I'm gonna adopt I'll have to find a guy who shares the same vision. A child deserves a father and a mother. 

Is this why I am drawn toward Asian people so much? 

Is it because God wants me to adopt from Asia not actually go there? 

What in the world does God want me to do with my life. 

Should I go to collage and get a degree in something so I can get into any country to teach in schools? 

Should I come back down here to Mexico for a term? 

Am I supposed to live the typical mennonite girl life? Find a husband get married young and life in a little town for the rest of my life. (Idk why I struggle with this one so much. I've always had a very go go go personality. I want to get involved in stuff and idk yea idk. I'm prob not making much sense which is why I'm up at 1 am. Trying to sort through all these thoughts.)

I just watched a whole bunch of adoption videos and stories and my mind is spinning out of control. 

If ur still reading this thanks ;) if you have any advice I'd love to hear it. Just FB message me it. I'm definitely at a crossroads in my life. I truly don't know what lies ahead of my when I get home. I don't even have a job lined up yet. :/ once again prayers greatly appreciated! 

Pray for

-health (I keep getting stomach pain and joint pain which isn't so abnormal for me as It is annoying) 

-the children at the Casa Hogar as well as the caregivers. 

-I'm trying to kick some bad habits while I'm down here and it's kinda hard (reliance on technology, amount of movie watching, holing up by myself in a room, amount of food n sugar intake, etc :) 

-my spiritual walk with God through all this. 

Well it's 1am so I shall try getting some sleep before church tomorrow. Thanks for letting me spill my guts to y'all! Night!